Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Midnight Questions


Tomorrow (technically today) I am heading back to work. Jill's mother is here and will be able to care for any needs that Jill has, meaning that Jill finally has a good excuse to boss her mom around! The Family Medical Leave Act allows me up to 12 weeks of unpaid time off, and I'm quickly running out of paid vacation days, so to keep my paychecks coming I'll be finishing off this week and working next week (except for next Tuesday when we get the staples removed, another MRI, and talk with the radiooncologist). I'm going to confirm with the neurooncologist tomorrow that chemo therapy and radiation will be starting Monday August 3. While in Phoneix for the 6 weeks of treatment, I'll have the opportunity to work at the phoenix branch so as not to run into that unpaid time off.
I'm having trouble sleeping because there are a million questions racing through my head:
How will Jill react to chemo therapy?
How will the tumor react to chemo therapy and radiation?
Will I be able to pull off taking Jill to treatment and then working?
Will Jill be ok with that?
How many more vacation days do I have left?
What other treatment will she need after this initial 6 week chemo/radiation blast?
What will we do with Leo?
Will he remember us when we get back?
What sort of hairstyle is Jill going to want when her hair grows back?
Should I go get a midnight snack?
How many miles are we going to be putting on the car?
Good think we have a hybrid.
How much of the bill will Blue Cross Blue Shield cover?
Will I ever get my dream mountain bike?
Does that even matter now?
It's 1:00AM, whos dog is barking?
What does an insurance company consider a pre-existing condition?
What kind of car does a neurosurgon like Dr. Zimmerman drive?
How much different is brain surgery compared to endovascular aortic aneurysm surgery?
I wonder what Jill is dreaming about?
How is her brain going to react to having more room now that the majority of the tumor is gone?
How long has the tumor been growing?
I wonder what Leo is dreaming about?
How much sleep have I lost?
What does the radiation machine look like?
Are we going to get this much rain next spring and summer?
Why didn't I make any cookies this weekend?

I could go on and on and on, but I should try to fall asleep again.

6 comments:

  1. That is, I imagine just the beginning of your questions. We are here to listen and perhaps help you figure out the answers/solutions. Much love to you two. It was wonderful to see you yesterday. It made me smile for the rest of the day up until, well, now. You two are wonderful examples of strength and realness. Thank you.

    Muah!!!

    Laura

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  2. Hi Jill,

    Megan filled me in on what's been happening. My thoughts and prayers are with you and wish nothing more than for you to get better soon.

    xoxo

    Jane(Resch)Schlueter

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  3. You two are amazing! Rob, try to keep up your workouts. It will help you sleep and to put things in order. Keep eating good food and drinking water. Eat as much ice cream as you can! Big hugs for you both!

    Alexis

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  4. Hi guys:

    I sent Jill a phone text a week ago when I found out but, duh - she's not checking her phone right now! I have been thinking about you two so much this week. I have no doubt in my mind that Jill will kick the *@&% out of this thing. She is the strongest girl I know and she looks BEAUTIFUL with a shave head. I think she should keep it that way and get a dragon tattoo over the scar:)

    Love you lots and will follow your progress. I'll even fly out to take care of Leo if need be!

    Best wishes and good vibes - Katie McQuaid

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  5. Hi there you two. Rob, I can't imagine how hard this is for you and thank you SO much for making all of us feel like we are going through this "with" you by writing. I must say, you are an excellent writer. Jill, it was awesome to see you the other day, you look awesome! Don't know how my food tasted, but if you want absolutely ANYTHING, pls, pls, pls do not hestitate to call me, I'll bring it. Hang in there, we are paying lots of prayers for you. Lots of love, Cheree' (and the gang of course)

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  6. Get some sleep Rob!!!! The answers fall into place. Can't wait to see you both

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